War Torn Arc
by ShenLong1
Summary: An eleven part arc of fic's set in different POV's Giving each of Duo's, Heero's Trowa's and Quatre's views on their developing relationships with each other. 1x2x1, 3x4x3, sap, angst, romance
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys. They belong to their respective copyright companies. I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a lot happier. Ne? :) Also I do not own the song "It All Comes Back to You" It belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Rating: PG.

Pairings: 1+2

Warnings: Shonen-ai, sap, angst, POV, Song fic.

_/ indicates song lyrics /_

Notes: Set immediately after Endless Waltz. Duo finds Heero and although the other boy is seriously hurt Duo has to confess his feelings and leave it up to Heero to decide where he wants to be. Written from Duo's POV.

Authors Notes: This is the first in what I have dubbed my 'War Torn Arc'. All the songs that this series will feature and be based upon can be found on the "Then Again..." c.d. by John Farnham. Reading through the lyrics I found that many of the songs can be related back to the Gundam boys and so the idea for this song arc was born. I hope you enjoy them all.

Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

"It All Comes Back To You."

June 2003 ShenLong.

Part 1 of the War Torn arc

I screamed down the comm unit but I doubt he heard me, so intent and focused on his mission was he. I watched, stunned, as Wing began to disintegrate from the force of the beam as it tried to hold steady and concentrate on its target. "Heero! You bastard! What the hell do you think you're doing!? Get the fuck out of there NOW!"

I could only stand by helplessly and watch as the perfect soldier carried through with yet another self-destruct mission. "Dammit! Why Heero!?" I screamed, as the tears began to form. My vision blurred, I set Deathscythe down and opened the cockpit. Scrambling out and hitting the ground, I raced for the underground building that was now a smoking, gaping hole surrounded by chunks of what was once the Gundam known as Wing.

Frantically I searched through the debris until I located the cockpit...the empty cockpit. Whirling around, my braid whipped against my torso as I scanned the immediate area...for what? A body?

Nothing.

That had to mean one thing...

Heero was still alive.

Hearing the moans from within the pit, I surged forward yet again, my heart once more filled with hope.

_/Who's to say that you don't have the answers  
__Who's to say that you do.  
__They say what goes around comes around.  
__I believe that it's true. /_

I raced through the blackened ruins still smoking from the impacts, my eyes scanning, searching. I finally entered the main room where I saw you standing, gun aimed and ready. I could do nothing as you slowly crumpled to the floor, your name tearing from my throat as I lunged forward only to be beaten by the Queen.

I crouched next to your unconscious form as Relena cradled your head, concern and worry in her eyes as she held you. Vaguely, I heard someone call for medical assistance as I reached to take your body from her arms.

_/ The tears will pass away,  
And you'll see the day./_

The tears coursed down my cheeks as I held your unconscious form in my arms. "Please don't die on me Heero." I whispered into your deaf ears. "Not now, not after we have survived so much. Not before I have had the chance to tell you..." The medics arrived and took you from me. I knew I had to let them do their work but I stayed as close to you as I could get. Relena stood by my side and placed a comforting arm around me as we watched the medics apply their skills to your damaged body.

When they deemed you stable enough to be moved I followed along, unable and unwilling to relinquish the subconscious hold that bound us together.

_/ It's alright, whatever you do  
It's alright, it's coming back to you  
It's alright, it's all true  
It's alright, it's coming back to you. /_

Seeing you lying there on that crisp clean hospital bed brought the tears once more to my eyes. I wanted so much to hold you and comfort you, take you away with me and disappear. But I could not. I knew you cared for me in your own way, the small things that you did each day showed me that, but I wanted more. While I knew that deep down, underneath the mask that we each wore, there was more to your actions that you were ready to acknowledge, I knew I would have to be patient and wait.

_/ You don't want me to see you this way  
At the end of your rope.  
Passion caught between  
Beauty and ashes  
It's got you hanging on hope./_

I stayed close by during those first few days in the hospital as your battered and broken body began the long process of healing once again. I could tell that the physical damage would heal, but what of the emotional? I caught glimpses from time to time of a different emotion shining in those Prussian eyes of yours, but it was rare, and only for a moment.

As your strength began to return and the physical scars healed, you took Relena's offer to recuperate at her mansion. I was slightly stunned at this, as I had hoped to care for you myself. But when I watched you talking to her I understood. You needed time and space. I was fully aware of my own feelings for you and while I think you knew, you never confirmed nor denied that knowledge.

I stayed for a while until I was satisfied you would be okay. I trusted Relena to watch over you and assist you in your recovery. The time came for me to leave and I could stay no longer. I was needed back on L2. I had promised Hilde I would help her with the scrap business and I had already been absent for longer than intended. She needed me.

_/ The nights will turn around  
Someday you'll be found./_

I tried in so many small ways to show you how much you meant to me without stating the obvious. Yet I was never rewarded with even the smallest hint that you understood or returned the interest. It was with a heavy heart that I decided that I must have interpreted the signals I had received over these past few years in the wrong manner. I returned to the hospital one last time... to say good-bye.

I sat by your bedside as you slept, memorizing every small detail of your handsome features, locking them away in my heart to be brought to the fore in times of loneliness. I gently traced the pad of my thumb over your cheekbone, watching the muscle flutter slightly under the touch. My calloused fingertips caressed the lines of your forehead, cheek and jaw and my heart warmed a little as you leaned into the touch. If I could never have anything more at least I would have this.

_/ It's alright, whatever you do,  
It's alright, it's coming back to you.  
It's alright, it's all true  
It's alright, it's coming back to you. /_

I leaned forwards and whispered softly into your ear while you slept, safe in the knowledge that the drugs in your system would prevent you from hearing my words but feeling compelled to say them.

"I love you Heero Yuy. I always have and I always will. I had hoped that somehow we could have found happiness together but it seems that even that small pleasure is to be denied me. I'm sorry Heero. Sorry for the wars, sorry we had to kill, sorry we didn't get the chance just to be normal teenagers, sorry you were denied your emotions, sorry I didn't get the chance to show you how much I care for you. It is because I care for you so much that I will leave and give you the chance now to live a normal life."

I felt the wetness as it graced my cheek but I did nothing to stop it. I held your hand gently in my own, mindful of the tubes and wires still connected to your recovering body.

_/The nights will turn around,  
Someday you'll be found. /_

"I hope you find whatever it is you are searching for Heero, I truly do." The tears slipped from my chin unnoticed as I finished my little speech. "You know where to find me, buddy. Ai shiteru."

I leaned forth and pressed my lips gently to yours. A tender kiss born of longing and desire, of friendship with a hint of more. A kiss of yearning for something I could never have. I pulled away and watched you for one more moment. I had no clue as to if I would ever see you again, but I wished you everything your heart desired and more. You deserved it.

"Good-bye Heero. Take care."

I stood and released your hand. With the determination to leave, my legs carried me to the door where I paused one last time. Hand on the handle, I took a deep breath and forced myself to open it and pass through. My body left, but my heart remained.

I didn't see the blue eyes that followed my progress across the room, the sad look that pierced their very depths or the finger that brushed over the sweet lips in reverence of the kiss I had bestowed. If I had then my resolve would have crumbled. I continued on, away from the hospital, away from Relena, away from the one thing I cherished the most.

_/ It's alright, whatever you do  
It's alright, it's coming back to you  
It's alright, it's all true  
It's alright, it's coming back to you. /_

A pair of Prussian eyes scanned the night sky, searching and sorting through the various stars and satellites until they fixed upon one. The gaze burned with an intensity unseen for some time as they studied the tiny speck. Fingers reached forth and caressed the image in the dark.

"Duo..."

--

Owari


	2. When All Else Fails

**heeroduoyaoilover: Don't worry, I'll be posting a chapter a day of this arc for you. :)**

**Misakaida: Yes, this arc is finished as are pretty much all the fics I'll be posting here. Currently I am writing 3 multiparters and several one shots, the multiparters being the ones getting the most attention right now. One is the sequel to Chimaera, another the third fic in my Equine arc and the last a slave fic set in medievil times which I won't post here due to it's graphic content. If you're interested in it, PM me and I can give you a link to where it's currently posted.**

**Thank you for the kind reviews (snugs you both)**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G boys. They belong to their respective copyright agencies. I just borrow them to play with from time to time and return them a whole lot happier. I do not own the song "When all else Fails" by John Farnham, I'm just using it without permission for this fic.

Pairings : 1+ 2

Rating: PG

Warnings: Heero POV, Sap, song fic.

Notes: Set after Endless Waltz. Heero, having been released from hospital spends time recuperating at Relena's home. Realizing that the relationship with Relena is not what he has been looking for he leaves and sets out to find the one that really owns his heart.

Archive : www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

_/ Denotes song lyrics/_

Fic 2 in the 'War Torn Arc'

" WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS "

July 2002 ShenLong

I took one last look at the mansion and then turning my back I began to walk. It was hard to say good-bye but necessary non the less. I knew those eyes were still on me as I walked, I could feel the tears that were being shed as my own burned behind frozen eyelids. We both agreed I had to leave. What I needed could not be found here. I was grateful for the solitude of the haven that had been put at my disposal for as long as I wanted. The injuries I had sustained during that last battle had taken their toll on my body and once released from the hospital I had accepted Relena's offer to recuperate at her home. The physical healing had not taken as long as expected, but the healing of my soul was an entirely different matter. Relena cared for me. She had shown that on numerous occasions and tenderly nursed me back to health, but she was not the one that could cure the infliction upon my soul.

We both realize that now.

I tried to give her what she wanted, god how I tried... she was so patient and gentle, never demanding anymore from me than I was able to give. Over the months we grew comfortable with each other and learned so much more, but try as I might, it could go no further. It was then with a heavy heart I told her of my decision. I remember her eyes as she listened to my words... words we both knew were true, our relationship could never move beyond its current level. She had known before I had that all I could ever be to her was a friend, and sadly she smiled that gentle smile of hers, gave me her blessing and set me free to find the one that had stolen my heart so long ago.

_/ I'm searching for something  
That's so hard to find  
I'm falling down mountains  
I can't seem to climb. /_

As I walked I could only hope that what I had felt during the wars was still there. I had searched my own soul on occasions to numerous to count and still returned to the same conclusion. Now finally accepting those feelings I walked the path intent on discovering if there could be any truth behind them.

_/ Driving down highways  
That don't have an end  
I can't find the sign, am I lost again? /_

The landscape blurred past as I stared out the window, body jolting every now and then from the movement of the vehicle which had swallowed me. The driver having long ago given up attempts at conversation, we sat in companionable silence as the speedometer clocked up the miles. Although my eyes watched and recorded the trees and valleys that sped past, the image became distorted along the network of the optic nerve until the one that reached my brain was of your warm, smiling face.

_/ When all else fails - You will be there  
When all else fails - I'll hold on to you  
When_ _all else fails - You'll still be there  
When all else fails - I'll turn to you /_

The earth space port was crowded as I made my way to the counter to pick up my ticket and check in for the flight. With time to spare I headed through the jostling crowd to the small coffee shop and made my purchase. Finding a seat amongst the throng of people I watched as the world continued to turn on its axis, oblivious to the tide of humanity it nurtured. The hot, black liquid scalded my tongue as it made its way to my belly, the taste was not as pleasant as I would have liked, then again, no one could make a coffee the way you could. It was these small little nuances of yours that had first stirred the well of emotion that I wasn't aware existed in my soul. I only wish I had recognized the signs sooner.

_/ I'm selfish and jealous,  
I'm proud and a fool  
I'm walking with strangers  
And strangers are cruel. /_

I made my way to the boarding gate, shepherded along with the rest of the flock and into the waiting shuttle. Strapped into my seat I closed my eyes as the sound of the engines assaulted my ears and allowed my mind to drift. Once more I was in my Gundam, controls firmly in my hands as I fought the enemy... As always you were there to support me and cover my back. We did a lot of that you and I. I remember the various schools and missions we were thrown together in... always you were there for me, supporting and encouraging, picking up the pieces and putting our miserable lives back together. I often wondered about that. Why you did it. We were soldiers... We were expendable and yet there was something more... Something in your actions that you would not allow words to confirm. I could only hope that I had interpreted those actions in the correct way.

_/ I'm praying to gods  
That I don't even know  
I'm ready and willing,  
Where do I go? /_

The blackness of space enveloped the tiny craft as it left the earth's atmosphere and began its journey across the void. Staring at the countless stars I was again reminded of the true beauty of the universe. But even its beauty could not compare with yours. Even when you were hurt, lying swathed in bandages, bleeding and bruised from another vicious battle your inner light managed to shine through. The way you tended to my own injuries conveyed to me that at least someone cared. Even if it was only to ensure I would live to fight another day... The gentleness of your touch as you held me and soothed away the nightmares told me more than words ever could.

_/ When all else fails - You will be there  
When all else fails - I'll hold on to you  
When all else fails - You'll still be there  
When all else fails - I'll turn to you. /_

The sight of the colony as we came in to dock brought a lump to my throat and a chill to my body. I could only hope I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life; and yet somehow, I doubted that. I disembarked along with the rest of the mob and once clear of the terminal I stepped out into the artificial sunlight and drew in a breath of stale tasting air. Following my emotions had been the hardest mission to accept, but now I was here there was no going back. And so with a purpose to my stride I set out along the dirty street.

_/ I know I might be mistaken  
But its the chance I'm taking  
I'm walking on the wire. /_

I turned the corner and made my way down past various buildings until I came to a gateway. I paused and looked inside. The yard was just as I had imagined it would be, piles of metal gleaming in the sunlight, mountains of parts and various other mechanical items strewn about. A sense of organized chaos reigned and there in the middle of it all, halfway up a pile of scrap, rummaging around for heaven knows what, you stood. The artificial sun chose that moment to send a beam dancing over your frame, lighting you up with a fire that could only belong to an angel. Bathed in a halo of shimmering light, from the top of that silken hair to the tips of your black boots you surely looked as if you were a gift from the gods.

_/ I have been burned by temptation  
I'm drawn into that fire,  
I'm lost in my desire /_

Feeling my eyes upon your form you looked up, a huge smile broke on that face as you recognized me. My breath caught in my throat as you bounded down from that pile to run and embrace me in a fierce hug. My own arms responded as I crushed your body to mine. You pulled back and searched my face as I tried desperately to show my feelings in my eyes. No words were needed, like an open book you scanned the pages and understood the meaning. The smile you granted me was the answer I had hoped with all my heart to receive. Again you hugged me close and I could feel your heart beating just as wildly as my own. Your lips found mine and I responded with every fiber of my being, parting to allow the intrusion of your tongue to meet and acquaint with my own. As they did so I felt my soul leave to meet with yours, entwine, join and then return complete. A peacefulness washed over me as my soul healed. Our kiss broke and I stared once more into amethyst jewels so full of love and understanding. Tilting your head, you spoke three words that made my life complete.

"Welcome home, Heero."

Home... Yes, I had finally come home. You knew long before I did that this is where I belonged. In true fashion though you knew I had to realize it for myself and so patiently you had waited, safe in the comfort of knowledge that one day I would return to you. I turned to capture your lips and staring deep into your eyes I whispered the only words I knew to convey my emotions.

"Ai-shiteru, Duo."

_/ When all else fails - You will be there  
When all else fails - I'll hold on to you  
When all else fails - You'll still be there  
When all else fails - I'll turn to you. /_

Owari


	3. Acceptance

**Misakaida: There are 5 fics in Heero/Duo POV then 5 Fics in Trowa/Quatre POV. The final fic is in all 4 POV's. Thank you for the review!**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a whole lot happier ne? Also I don't own the song "Diamonds" It's from the c.d. "Then Again..." and belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Warnings: sap, angst, Yaoi, shonen-ai, Heero POV

Pairings: 1+2

Rating: PG. 13

Author: ShenLong

Summary: Duo confronts Heero as to why he sought him out after all this time.

(Sequel to "When All Else Fails" )

_/ Denotes Lyrics /_

Part 3 in the War Torn Arc.

"Acceptance."

June 2003

It was late in the evening and the colony lights were dimming. I sat on the balcony of the unit I had shared with Duo since my arrival upon L2 three weeks ago, a drink cradled in my hand as my eyes stared out at nothing in particular, just happy to sit and relax. My attention was caught by the slim figure that stepped out to join me, dropping into the chair that adjoined my own. Silence abounded as we contemplated our thoughts, content with the warmth of company and safe in the peaceful reverie.

I raised my coffee mug to my lips and took a mouthful of the warm fluid, the sounds from the street below beginning to permeate my thoughts as I relaxed after a hard day in the scrap yard with Duo. I thought again how lucky I was that he had accepted my arrival without question, somehow knowing I would come to him. He hadn't asked after the circumstances that had caused me to arrive, but I knew it was only a matter of time before he did.

I turned to study his profile in the light of the artificial evening and caught my breath. My eyes had graced his face several times but this was the first time I had actually been able to study his features without distraction. The boyish lines were disappearing as manhood found him, the angular planes of his cheekbones becoming more defined, his slightly upturned nose, the dark shadow that graced his jaw, indicating the need to shave, those sweet pouting lips that were designed for kissing and those violet eyes that swirled with his emotions. All this beauty was crowned with that shimmering halo of golden chestnut that tumbled around him in a silken waterfall.

I loved his hair.

Usually braided, it reached to his hips and swung around his lithe body as he moved and worked; but when he was home he would let it loose to cascade around him, brushing the tops of his thighs and driving me to distraction.

"Heero?"

The voice calling my name drew me from my musings and my eyes focussed, meeting questioning violet and I blushed as I realized I had been caught staring. "Hai?" I mumbled, turning away to hide my embarrassment.

"Why did you come?"

This was the question I had been dreading and yet strange to say, I welcomed it. It needed to be discussed, to be brought out into the open so we could move on with the relationship; at least I hoped there would be a relationship. My brows knitted together in thought as I scanned my mind for the right words to say what needed saying. Never one to use much in the way of a vocabulary at the best of times, I was now floundering as I fought to find the elusive letters to string together and explain the reasons behind my arrival.

Duo relaxed back into his seat, granting me all the time I needed to compose myself. He knew I was not big on talking and never had been. I found I could convey all I needed to with simple short sentences and it was with difficulty that I began my exposition of the reasons behind my actions.

I began my story, Duo remaining silent and letting me speak.

_/ I looked there across to the horizon  
__The moon was bright and high up in the east. /_

"I had been released from the hospital the very day after you had left and I moved to Relena's to recuperate. I spent many weeks regaining my physical health and re-building my strength. Relena was a friend, an ally, but nothing more. I would spend the evenings at the Sanc palace in much the same way I am now, sitting on the balcony and staring at the night sky. The nights on earth are beautiful, the stars form a canopy above you and the moon casts her silvery glow over everything."

_/ I stretched out to touch what I was seeing  
__And then I looked up  
__And found it out of reach. /_

"I would stare at the night sky for hours, just picking out the various constellations and satellites. Relena worried about me and the time I spent just staring, but how could I tell her what I was searching the heavens for when I didn't know myself? I knew the answers to what I was feeling were held out there in the void but I had no clue as to where I should start to look for them."

_/ There were diamonds on the water  
__I saw starfire on the sea.  
__Diamonds on the water  
__You don't need to sleep to have a dream./_

"I tried to make things work between Relena and myself. I knew what it was she wanted but it didn't feel right, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't feel anything more for her than simple friendship. I began to think back, back to the wars and the times we had spent together, not just you and me, but all five of us and try to find some clue to explain this feeling of loss in my soul."

_/ I believe that certain things can happen  
__To change the very nature of the beast. /_

"When the first war ended I was lost. My training had not gone beyond the fighting and so that's why I left. I had to work through the minefield of inner turmoil and discover how to live. I needed to come to terms with the peace. When Relena was kidnapped I easily slipped back into the role I had been trained for as I hadn't yet purged myself of the schooling. With her safe again there was once more no need for my skills."

_/ And I have been a witness to survival  
__Nothing really has to rest in peace. /_

"I had plenty of time to think while I lay recovering. I thought long and hard about many things, my part in the war, my life then and now, my friends and comrades, and you. For some inexplicable reason my thoughts were always drawn back to you. I knew then that I could never feel anything more for Relena and so I began to search my soul for what it was I craved."

_/ There were diamonds on the water,  
__I saw starfire on the sea.  
__Diamonds on the water  
__You don't need to sleep to have a dream. /_

"I began to recall all the small instances during our times together, the times we spent in the different schools, the missions we shared and the caring, friendly attitude you always showed me regardless of how I treated you. I began to put things together, it was like a huge jigsaw puzzle and it took me a while to find the pieces... but I did."

_/ Here I am, I'm standing on  
__the edge of here and now. /_

I took a deep breath as I sought to continue. I quickly scanned your face for some reassurance that you understood what it was I was trying to say. Your face remained soft and passive yet your eyes were a swirl of differing emotions and I knew in your own way you had begun to understand what I was so pathetically trying to convey.

_/ Here I am, my time is coming round  
__Here I am, dust to dust,  
__I carry ancient ground. /_

You declined to speak, offering instead a smile of encouragement and silence for me to continue.

_/ Now I am in a perfect situation  
__But thoughts intrude on me just like a thief. /_

"I spoke with Relena about my restlessness and it was she who finally put me on the right track, handed me the final parts to the puzzle. You see she knew, she had seen the tenderness which you had shown me while in the hospital, the way your eyes would follow me and watch me while I slept. She could see what I was blind to and having determined for herself with her own ways that she was not what I needed, she tried to give me the clues as to what it was that I searched for."

_/ They steal me back  
__To all that I would run from  
__Back from where I really want to be. /_

"She was the one that explained what I was feeling, what the dreams I was having meant, why I sat and stared at a certain glimmering dot in the sky with longing in my eyes and heart. She knew I was running from the truth and in her own way she made me see what it was I needed, where it was I should be."

Another deep breath passed my lips and I immersed myself in your eyes.

"It was then that the final piece fell into place and I faced what I had been hiding from... My emotions."

_/ I saw diamonds on the water  
__I saw starfire on the sea. /_

"When I stopped and looked at the puzzle now solved I could clearly see the subtle ways you had tried to let me know that you cared and I realized that I needed you. The calling I had tried to reason out with logic could not be explained in that way."

_/ Diamonds on the water  
__You don't need to sleep to have a dream. /_

"It was then that I decided to leave the earth and find you. I had to know if you still felt the same way, if you still cared enough in your heart to forgive me for my stubbornness, if you were willing to overlook my flaws and give me a chance."

I looked up from beneath my bangs, baring my soul through my eyes, willing you to understand what I was saying. You smiled again and reached forwards to cup my cheek, thumb stroking over the bone and I leaned into the caress.

"It took you long enough, Yuy."

My lids squeezed shut as the tears formed, my breath hitched and I began to tremble. You understood. It was as if the weight of the universe had been lifted from my shoulders and my soul lightened. I felt your arms wrap around my waist, pulling me to a standing position. My own arms found their way around your form and I rested my head against your chest, the tears flowed as you stroked my back, soothing and comforting at the same time.

"Does this mean you're willing to forgive me and give this a chance?" I couldn't help the whisper, rejection was the one thing I dreaded.

You tilted my head and spoke softly. "There is nothing to forgive."

As your lips descended on mine I knew I had made the right decision, I had finally found what I had been looking for... and it was perfect.

Owari


	4. The Reason Why

**Thank you for the kind reviews!**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G boys, I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a whole lot happier. Also I do not own the song "The Reason Why" it belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Warnings: Sap, lime, shonen-ai, Duo POV

Rating: R

Pairings: 2x1

Summary: Set after EW. Duo and Heero have been together for several weeks now. Duo reflects on the previous weeks as he has gotten to know his partner better.

Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

Author: ShenLong

Title "The Reason Why"

_/ Denotes song lyrics /_

Authors Notes: This is the fourth fic in the War Torn arc. All fics are song fics with the lyrics being taken from the "Then Again" c.d. by John Farnham.

The Reason Why

June 2003

Part 4 in the War Torn Arc.

I stared down at your peacefully sleeping form, idly my finger reached out and brushed away a strand of chocolate hair that dared to obstruct my view of your handsome face. My thoughts began a journey back over the past few weeks as I continued to run my finger over the smooth skin of your cheek.

To say I was surprised when you turned up at the scrap yard six months ago would be an understatement. I had been totally stunned. I declined to ask the reasons behind your appearance, opting instead to play things by ear. I figured you would tell me soon enough and in your own time; and if you didn't? ...

Well then I would ask.

I could only hope that the answer would be the one I wanted to hear.

When we did finally confront that barrier, I was delighted to find that the feelings I had harbored for you were returned. I continued to watch you sleep as my mind wandered, blessing the fact that you were here with me. Since your confession our relationship has moved forwards, simple dates, working together and sharing the same apartment has led to discoveries neither one of us had dreamed of. The friendship we had shared over the years now blossomed into something more...

Love.

And I had never been happier.

_/ What did I do,  
__Before the day I set my eyes on you? /_

My life prior to becoming a Gundam Pilot had always been harsh, living on the streets, never having known my parents, Solo and the Maxwell church being the closest thing to family I had ever known. To lose them had torn my soul apart. Meeting up with Howard and Doctor G gave me something to channel my frustrations and loneliness into.

_/ Spending my time  
__Just working at the things I had to do. /_

I followed my training, refining my skills of stealth and thievery, the times spent on the streets serving me well in my new environment. I learnt how to kill, to infiltrate and to pilot. While my training may not have been as extensive as yours it was no less demanding. Finally I was sent to the earth with my shiny new toy. I was Shinigami and I was determined to make the alliance pay... or die trying.

Death didn't faze me, because after all I had nothing left to live for.

_/ And then I saw your face  
__I was captured heart and soul  
__You gave me so much more. /_

Standing dockside with my gun drawn I couldn't believe what I saw. It was more my training and reflex action that closed my finger over the trigger... twice.

Rescuing you from the alliance hospital wasn't purely because you were on the same side as me. I had my own selfish reasons. Those cobalt blue eyes pierced my very soul and I was hooked.

_/ You're the reason why,  
__I listen in the night  
__And steal the softest kisses  
__While you sleep. /_

I gaze again at your slumbering form, the lines of worry that used to grace your skin long gone, replaced with peaceful smoothness. I lower my lips and capture yours in a soft kiss, even in your sleep you respond to my touch. Never did I think I would be lucky enough to taste those sweet, ruby lips and so I continue to steal what I can while you sleep in case this all is but a dream.

_/ You're the reason why,  
__Tears will fill my eyes  
__Just looking at a photograph of you. /_

For months after the war I would find solitude my companion. All I had to remind me of my fellow pilots besides the occasional e mail and phone call were the few photographs and newspaper clippings. I treasured these and the moments I would spend just idly staring at one picture in particular. If I could never have the real thing at least I had an image. I recall the many nights I spent alone, crying myself to sleep, hugging that picture close to my heart.

_/ Touching my frown  
__Tell me what you read between the lines. /_

I smile as I steal another kiss. Since your return and confession, life has taken on a much stronger meaning. I always was one for slipping on a mask, the joker, the clown, the fool. Yet for some reason you could always see through it. I guess times haven't changed that much. You seem to know when my soul is troubled and you coax me to share my inner feelings and doubts with you.

_/ Everything's alright  
__I know sometimes I act a little strange. /_

Even as I try to convince you that I am fine you can still pierce my barriers, tearing them down and laying the ghosts I still carry to rest, driving them from me and replacing them with your tender caresses and caring mind.

_/ You bring me so much joy  
__Conversations make me smile  
__How could I love you more? /_

I notice the small subtle changes in you as well. No longer are you so silent. You have grown, blossomed and now engage in conversations more readily. While I was the one to buoy everyone with my incessant chatter during the wars, I never really said much. The talks we now share indicate just how far you have come and it warms my heart to know you are happy.

_/ You're the reason why  
__I speak with foolish pride  
__Whenever there's a chance to  
__Show you round. /_

I know you have seen the changes in me also. No longer do I need my mask, I am free to be myself. Having you by my side has taught me that it's all right to let go, that it's all right to be myself. I can't help the feeling of elation nor the touch of pride that enters my voice when I introduce you to the many friends and acquaintances I have made since returning to the scrap yard.

_/ You're the reason why  
__I lost this heart of mine  
__At the very moment you arrived. /_

Seeing you standing at the entrance to the scrap yard I knew I was lost. For all the time I spent yearning for a love I thought would be once again denied me you proved me wrong. The very fact that you came, you sought to find me and follow up on my subtle hints caused me to fall even harder for your boyish charm. All that time ago you stole my heart...

...Now you had come to steal the rest of me.

_/ I can't believe this life was ever lonely  
__No I can't imagine life before you. /_

My life is now rich and full. Each day you show me again and again how much you love and care for me. Gone is the empty void, replaced with warmth, laughter and sunny smiles.

For the first time you showed me what it was like to make love and I was lost. I had experienced sex before but there was a difference, a difference you tenderly showed me and the tears ran free that first time as you liberated my soul.

_/ You're the reason why  
__I'm holding on so tight  
__I never want to let this feeling go. /_

I treasure the gift of your love more than you will know. To me you are everything. You light up my life, keep me happy when I would be sad, hold me when the nightmares come, share a joke, a smile and take me to heaven and back screaming your name in the throes of ecstasy. It is a feeling I like and I'm not about to relinquish.

_/ You're the reason why  
__My love will never die  
__My heart just could not sing if not for you. /_

I now have something worth living for.

I reach for your lips again and brush lightly over them, savoring the taste that is uniquely you. As I pull back I notice your eyes blink open sleepily. Your hand reaches to caress my cheek and I lean into the warm touch. You smile and steal a kiss of your own.

"What are you thinking, Duo?"

Your words break the spell and I return your loving gaze as I kiss your nose. "Nothing, Heero... Nothing."

You pull me down close to you and wrap your arms around my frame. I allow you to draw me in and place my own arms around your torso, resting my head upon the pillow of your chest. I feel safe, warm and loved. A tear breaks free and begins a lonely journey down the plane of my cheek; but it is not a tear of sadness... Oh no.

It is a tear of joy.

_/ What did I do  
__Before the day I set my eyes on you?/_

With the warmth that only loving and being loved can bring I close my eyes and join you in peaceful slumber.

Owari


	5. Two Strong Hearts

**Thank you everyone that has left a comment on this arc thus far. I'm happy to know you're all enjoying it. This is the last one in Heero and Duo's POV, the next one will concentrate on Trowa and Quatre.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys. They belong to their respective copyright companies. I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a lot happier, ne? :) Also I do not own the song "Two Strong Hearts" It belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Pairings : 1x2x1

Rating: R.

Warnings: Sap, POV's, Song Fic

Notes: This is the fifth in the War Torn arc. The relationship of Heero and Duo is now well established and they share their feelings together.

Authors Notes: This is the Sequel to " The Reason Why" and is the fifth in what I have dubbed my 'War Torn Arc'.

Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

_/ Denotes song lyrics /_

" Two Strong Hearts"

July 2003 ShenLong

Part 5 in the War Torn Arc.

Heero POV

Had anyone told me during the war that I would fall in love I would have given them one of my glares and scoffed at the notion. Had they said I would fall in love with a fellow pilot I would have thought them delusional. Had they said I would fall in love with Duo Maxwell I would have had them committed.

_/ No need analyze this kind of emotion  
__'Cause it comes naturally. /_

I gaze down upon your sweat soaked body, still flushed red with the warmth of the after glow as you bask in its fading pleasure, and feel my heart constrict. I never would have believed I could feel this way until...

Somehow you managed to get under my skin, pierce my soul and melt my frozen heart. The emotions that had been taken from me during my training and the wars suddenly returned. So used to analyzing everything that happened to and around me I began to flounder, but I needn't have worried. You held me close and helped me to navigate through the minefield of differing feelings and now...

... It's as natural for me to say Ai Shiteru as it is to draw breath into my lungs.

_/ A simple case of feeling love and devotion  
__So tell me tenderly /_

I smile as you open your eyes and stare into my own. I read the love that burns brightly within those amethyst jewels and I am humbled. I try to return the sentiment, pouring my entire heart into my own eyes for you and only you to see, and I'm warmed as I read the understanding in yours.

_/I want to give my life to you  
__I want to feel my blood run through you. /_

Never did I think I could feel such passion, such devotion, such love for another human being. Being trained as a soldier, all the focus was on the mission or the battle and each one of us was ready to give up our lives for the cause without a second thought. Now though, it's a different story...

...Now the only one I want to give my life to is you.

_/ And oh I want to touch you  
__Over and over and over again. /_

I draw you closer to my body, wrapping my arms carefully around your slender frame. Having broken the barriers that imprisoned me I cannot get enough of you. I need to hold you, touch you, feel you beside me every waking moment, and willingly you indulge my insecurities, letting me know you are there and not about to vanish as if a dream. Physical intimacy having been denied me for so long I now crave it like a drug. I need it to constantly re-assure myself that what we have is real and not some idle fantasy.

_/ We got two strong hearts  
__We stick together like the honey and the bee  
__You and me. /_

Now that I have finally broken the last of my chains and experienced the best that life has to offer, I know I will be a permanent resident in this paradise. Together we can do anything.

_/ We got two strong hearts  
__Reaching out forever like a river to the sea  
__Running free. /  
_  
Freedom...

The one thing we fought so hard for and achieved is now ours to fully enjoy. The future is wide and welcoming, ours to do with what we will, and while that in itself is a daunting prospect, I know when I falter you will be there to pick me up and steady me, as I will be equally there for you.

"Ai Shiteru, Duo, now and forever."

Duo POV

I cannot express how touched I was when you felt comfortable enough to admit your feelings for me, nor how warmed I was with your concern on how announcing our relationship would affect both my personal and professional life. I've lost count of the number of times I have told you that I don't care. As long as I have you then I don't give a damn about what others think or say.

_/ I feel there's no need for compromising my reputation  
__When you lead me astray. /_

Entwined in your arms, hips pumping against each other's, I feel my body burning with desire as you tenderly make love to me. Your eyes spark with previously unknown emotion as we climb to the pinnacle of ecstasy and tumble down the other side. As we recover our heart and breathing rates, my mind switches to the day you sought me out and how far we have progressed from there. I feel elated that I was finally able to crack the cold exterior and discover the warmth that lay buried underneath.

_/ I'm proud to be a part of this fascination  
__When I hear you say. /_

I am still stunned that after all this time I actually have you here with me, sharing my life as well as my body and I need to pinch myself some days to believe it is all reality and not some cruel dream. When you look at me and whisper those soft words of love, once again I am totally lost in the enigma that is Heero Yuy; and it's a fascination I want to hold onto for as long as I can draw breath.

_/ I want to be there to guide you  
__I'm going to feel my love inside you /_

Together we can traverse this new relationship, discover the deeper meanings and enjoy them to the full. No longer will you be alone and nor will I. Together we can do anything and when you stray I will be there to guide you back just as I know you will be there for me. Teaching you all the many wonderful and varied ways to enjoy the physical side of the relationship has been, and will continue to be, a source of never ending joy to me. I cannot explain just how elated and honored I was that first time when you allowed me the privilege of taking your virginity, the force of the love that radiates from your body as you approach nirvana is only equaled by the devotion that seeps from my own as I feel my passion leave my soul to be devoured by yours.

_/ And oh oh I want to touch you  
__Over and over and over again. /_

No matter how many times we share this intimate joining I cannot get enough and I know you also need the constant reassurance that this is not a passing whim. As I indulge you in your insecurities I am also indulging myself. I need to touch you, to feel you close to me. I have always been a warm, open person and the simple pleasure I derive from being able to hold you close is irreplaceable.

_/ We got two strong hearts  
__We stick together like the honey and the bee  
__You and me. /_

Now that I finally have you with me I have no intentions of ever letting you go. I have no need to tell you how I feel, you mirror my sentiments. Two halves of a whole that is at last, complete.

_/ We got two strong hearts  
__Reaching out forever like a river to the sea  
__Running free. /_

I lift my head from where it is pillowed upon your chest and gaze deeply into cobalt depths, the blue clouded with love and passion and I smile. I trace a finger over the bone structure of your jaw, marveling at how soft the skin is and chuckling at the tiny shivers that invade your muscles. With a mischievous grin I raise myself further and reach for the drawer on the nightstand, your eyes following my every move, curiosity replacing the passion, but the love still remains.

"Close them," I whisper and you comply without hesitation. I find what it is I'm searching for and wrap my fingers tightly around it before returning to my previous, comfortable position against your side. Fiddling for a moment with the item I manage at last to arrange it the way I want. "Open your eyes, Heero."

_/ We got two strong hearts  
__We stick together like the honey and the bee  
__You and me. /_

The lashes flutter and once more the deep blue oceans stare at me before flickering to see what I held in my hand. I hear the barely audible gasp as breath is drawn in sharply and those eyes focus once more on my own.

_/ We got two strong hearts  
__Reaching out forever like a river to the sea  
__Running free. /_

"Will you marry me, Heero?"

My breath is momentarily stolen from me as I am enveloped in a bone crushing hug, lips seal themselves to mine and tears of joy join together as you agree.

"I love you, Heero Yuy, with every fiber of my being and I want to remain with you for the rest of eternity."

"As do I, Duo. Ai Shiteru, always."

Owari


	6. Anything

**Thank you everyone for the kind reviews. We will meet up again with Heero and Duo in the final chapter of this arc. For now though, it's time to move onto Trowa and Quatre.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys. They belong to their respective copyright companies. I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a lot happier, ne? :) Also I do not own the song "I Can Do Anything" it belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Pairings : 3x4

Rating: R.

Warnings: Angst, POV, Lime hints, Song Fic

Notes: Trowa has figured out his feelings for Quatre and the couple have settled into a life together but Trowa becomes restless as Quatre's business seems to take up more and more of his time leaving Trowa out in the cold.

Authors Notes: This is the sixth in the War Torn Arc. The arc now moves onto the relationship between Trowa and Quatre. This one is from Trowa's POV.

Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

_/ Denotes song lyrics /_

" Anything "

July 2003 ShenLong

Part 6 in the War Torn Arc.

Trowa POV

When the wars finally ended I had found myself alone and afloat in a sea of uncertainty. My Gundam was gone and along with it my identity. Now I was nothing more than another nameless soldier once again. The friendship we shared throughout the wars had strengthened and I found myself accepting your offer to stay with you at the conclusion of the battles.

_/You can laugh, you think it's funny  
__Am I a fool, for taking the longest way  
__To reach for the sky. /_

With some mild regret I said my good-byes to Cathy and the circus, the one place that had given me shelter and protection during the dark times and prepared to engage in another battle. To understand the conflict within my soul.

It is clear to me now that you knew what it was you wanted from me before I did. Those early days were full of fun and laughter as we shared many things while I began to unravel my inner turmoil. You used to laugh at me for the slow, yet steady way I methodically separated my emotions and analyzed them. Maybe I could have come to terms with my feelings a lot quicker and maybe if I had then what I am feeling now wouldn't have become an issue. Maybe if you had also taken the time to understand me and what I was facing, what I am about to do would never needed to have happened. Maybe if you had listened instead of being absorbed into your work it would never have come to this...

Maybe...

_/I have my hopes, you have your business  
__Don't you see, it's somebody else's dream  
__That you're working for./_

Once I recognized my feelings for what they were our lives became even more full and joyous... for a while. I'm not sure when the changes began, so subtle were they. While I appreciate the patience you showed me as I discovered and came to terms with my emotions, I cannot help but fear there is no longer any time in your life for me. We share the same home, the same bed, a love I thought was blossoming and yet...

I find myself still lonely.

You are becoming distant from me. We used to share time alone together, candlelit dinners, losing ourselves in our music when we played, but now we rarely do any of that. Meetings and business always seem to take precedence. I had hoped we could build a future together, one founded on a bond of love and understanding, but I feel that is no longer an option. This isn't the dream we shared... This is a carefully constructed plan to keep us apart, to tear away at the very fabric of our love until... I shake my head, not wanting those thoughts but unable to deny the truth.

Your work is taking you away from me, and while I know that it is important to you as well as your family, are you so blind that you cannot see how you are being manipulated?

Guilt is an easy emotion to play on.

_/So, what do you see  
__Just an ordinary man  
__What sets us apart, is this fire in my heart  
__That says, I can do anything. /_

While I know I can never be as an astute business man as what you are, I have tried to share the load with you, tried to become what it is you wanted me to be, to relieve you of some of the burden and stress of your position, and yet each time I do you manage to find fault with my work. Alas, you cannot mold me into the person you wish for me to be and so I will leave you to the high life of wheeling and dealing. I'm just an ordinary man, one without a name, without a purpose, or so your family would have you believe, but I know different.

Deep inside me there is a fire that burns, a fire that you may unknowingly be trying to extinguish, but I refuse to let that happen. I am my own person and with determination I can do anything. It is with a heavy heart I now pack my things and prepare to leave.

_/I lay awake, feel the distance  
__Sometimes I wonder, can I be the only one  
__Who's feeling this way. /_

Staring at the ceiling I can only try to block out the ache in my heart. How can two people be so close and yet so distant?

Unaware of the battle that is going on within me you sleep peacefully next to me, sated. Our love making was rushed and I feel unsatisfied. Oh, my loins may have been sated, but my heart cries out for more. What happened to the tender caresses?... the slow touches?... the gentle teasing as we built each other up to the point where we didn't need wings to fly?

If I didn't know any better I would swear that I needed an appointment just to be able to make love to you or kiss you. Surely you can't be that involved in your work that you cannot see what is happening? This void that started with a crack has widened, until now all I see is a gaping chasm, impossible to scale on my own and I have no idea how to fix it.

"What happened to us, Quatre?" I whisper for the night only to hear.

When I awaken you are gone and with a heavy heart I rise and complete my morning ablutions, skipping breakfast and heading directly to your office instead. What I have to say cannot wait any longer.

I push past your secretary, ignoring her heated objections and with one knock upon your door I enter, determined to see this through while I still can.

Two shocked faces look at me as I storm inside. I see loathing, disgust and irritation in the eyes of your guest, while anger flashes briefly in your own. Whether that anger is directed at me for the interruption or not, I do not care. I fold my arms across my chest and stare back at you defiantly. "We need to talk."

_/ So you can talk, or you can listen  
__Or you can walk away. /_

"Trowa, I am in the middle of an important meeting," you reply, gesturing to your guest.

"This cannot wait, Quatre." I watch as you give your guest an apologetic smile and rise from your seat to approach me.

"I'm sorry for the interruption, Mr Goldsmith. I'll just be a moment."

You walk towards me and I am fully aware of the annoyance in your posture. Taking my arm you turn me to the door and escort me there. "Whatever it is, Trowa, it can wait until I'm finished with this meeting!" you hiss in my ear.

"No it can't, Quatre." My voice is low, but determined.

"I'm about to close a very important deal here, Trowa. I do not need you to come barging in like a damsel in distress. I'll talk to you later."

I could barely contain my anger as the understanding swept over me. "Fine! Check through your precious diary and see when you can schedule me in for, then call this number and if I'm available I'll meet with you," I snarled as I handed him a slip of paper and turning on my heel, I began to walk away. "Good-bye, Quatre. Contact me when you have the time." I continued to force myself to walk when all I wanted to do was to run, the hot sensation prickling behind my eyes not helping in my cause, but I was determined not to break down.

_/We'll meet again  
__And you'll understand. /_

I burst into our room and grab my bag from the bed, with one last look about the opulent room I turn and leave, unwilling to wait any longer lest I should falter in my resolve.

I toss the bag to the back seat of the car and climb in behind the wheel. Keys slip into the small hole and the engine roars into life. I ease the vehicle from the garage and head down the sweeping driveway, away from the hurt, away from the memories, away from the pain lodged deep in my heart. I stop the car at the end and turn to face the mansion once more. "I hope one day, Quatre, you can uncover your eyes and see the truth."

Brushing the tears I can no longer contain from my cheeks, I ease the clutch out and slide into the traffic.

_/So where you walk, I may not follow  
__I'm someone else, I'm going the only way I know  
__The right way for me. /_

I walked under the archway that proclaimed the entrance to the circus and looked around. At least this hadn't changed. Cathy spotted me and I was soon back in the familiar trailer. She never once questioned me no matter how much I could see the curiosity burning in her eyes. Instead, she let me be, knowing I would talk if and when I was ready.

I had barely settled back into the routine when the call I had been expecting came through. I listened to your words, your explanations; but they rang hollow.

You still didn't see it.

"Quatre, I am not coming back. I cannot be the person you are trying to make me into. I am an individual, I have a life of my own which is important to me. I can no longer be 'Mrs. Winner'. I understand that your job is important to you and I do not wish to take you from your duties, but what we had, Quatre, is gone, swallowed up in the giant mechanism called Winner Enterprises. I cannot and will not play second fiddle to a company, a company that has you under its thumb twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, leaving no time for us. What happened to the sweet, gentle, kind man I knew and loved? You talk about my lack of identity, Quatre, but you need to take a good look at your own. I woke up before mine was stolen completely. Find yourself, Quatre. Find yourself before it's too late and that company swallows you completely, for until you do there can never be any hope of there being an us."

_/ So, what do you see  
__Just an ordinary man. /_

I replace the receiver and stare blankly at the wall, my inner turmoil raging out of control. Sadly I shake my head and leave the trailer, heading for the solace of the felines that offer me strength.

Just sitting here, silently with the ones that do not judge is a comfort in itself. My mind wanders back over my life thus far, an orphan, a mercenary, a killer and terrorist, Gundam pilot to war hero, friend to lover...

Now what am I?

I raise my head and stare into the slitted eyes of the male lion, seeking my answers and finding only one.

I'm nothing more now than an ordinary man.

But isn't that what I've always wanted to be?

I look towards the fake sky of the colony and my heart lightens a little. I have discovered something about myself that you have yet to find in yourself, Quatre.

_/ What sets us apart, is this fire in my heart  
__That says, I can do anything. /_

I have found my peace.

I have found myself.

oOo


	7. Loneliness

**Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing!**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys. They belong to their respective copyright companies. I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a lot happier, ne? :) Also I do not own the song "Burn For You" it belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Pairings : 3x4

Rating: R.

Warnings: Angst, POV, Lime hints, Song Fic

Notes: Trowa has figured out his feelings for Quatre and the couple have settled into a life together but Trowa becomes restless as Quatre's business seems to take up more and more of his time leaving Trowa out in the cold.

Authors Notes: This is the seventh in the War Torn Arc. The arc now moves onto the relationship between Trowa and Quatre. This one is from Quatre's POV.

Summary: Trowa has left Quatre and returned to L3. Quatre is now finding himself facing his greatest fears.

Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

_/ Denotes song lyrics /_

" Loneliness "

July 2003 ShenLong

Part 7 in the War Torn Arc.

Quatre POV

I shuffle wearily into the bedroom and toss my briefcase to the floor, uncaring of where it lands and flop to the bed. My hand wanders to run through my hair, pushing it back off my face and I rub at the stubble growing on my chin. Slowly I unknot the cheerful, blue tie and yank it from my neck, wincing slightly as the force pulls the collar of my shirt roughly against my skin.

_/ I got myself into some trouble tonight  
__Guess I'm just feeling blue. /_

With a sigh I roll over to my stomach and bury my face into the soft pillow, hugging it tight against me. My mind rolls back over the meeting I have just come from and I cower at the thought of what transpired. The board of directors had summoned me for answers... explanations for the many mistakes I had been making.

But how can you tell such a group the real reasons behind my fuck ups?

They wouldn't accept it anyway, even if it is the truth.

I sigh again and roll over, instantly my eyes alight on the framed photograph that sits on my bedside table, and I reach for it. I bring it closer to me and study it intently. My finger traces the outline of your face as the tears well behind my eye lids. With a sob I toss the picture aside and claim my pillow once again, allowing the tears to finally fall and soak the fabric.

_/ It's been so long since I've seen your face  
__This distance between me and you. /_

I should have listened, I should have paid more attention to what was happening, what you were trying to tell me. I should have seen what was coming, known exactly what was going on... but no. I allowed myself to be manipulated, to be used as it were and now I've lost the only thing I really cared about.

As loathe as I am to admit it, I drove you away, preferring to listen to the demands and requests my business dictated, and in the process planted the wedge that began the destruction of something pure and unequaled. When I finally woke up to what was going on it was too late.

You saw it happening long before I did and tried to warn me. But like the stubborn fool that I am, I refused to listen, citing jealousy and your background as being the cause for your concern. When you offered to help me, again I took that simple trust and ruined it. Determined to change you into my own ideal at the insistence of my board. They showed me how unsuitable you were for the position, constantly finding fault with your work until they had me so convinced that I also began to reprimand you over trivial things.

I don't blame you for quitting. Was I that blind and caught up in my work not to see what was happening around me?

I turn the pillow over to soak the other side.

_/ That voice you showed me is not the one that I know  
__I must be strung out on what I do. /_

The day you came charging into my office, demanding to talk still haunts me. I should have known then by the tone of your voice that something was seriously wrong and yet...

... I still didn't connect.

Was I that brainwashed?

The sinking feeling that washed through me that evening when I returned home to find you had gone is with me still. The empty closet, your car missing, all adds up to what a jerk I was being. But still I didn't get it. I was angry... angry and hurt that you would have just upped and left. Did everything I had ever done for you mean so little?

The board and my family all smirked when they knew you had left, saying I would be much better off without you and pointing out what damage our relationship would have done to the company and the Winner name.

Like a fool I believed them.

_/ Don't hang up again  
__There's nothing else I know how to do. /_

Knowing where you would have run to I waited a couple of days for you to get your head together before calling.

Your calm deep voice when you spoke sent shivers racing up my spine, but I hardened my resolve. "When are you coming home?" I asked in a blank tone.

"I'm not."

"Trowa, this is ridiculous, you know my job is important to me, I have responsibilities to the company and my family. You knew that before we even became a couple and now you're letting petty jealousy of my job interfere with our relationship."

You sighed. "You still don't get it do you, Quatre? I know your job and family are important to you and I respect that; but our relationship is also important. You have no time for us any more, Quatre. Can't you see what is before your very eyes?"

"You're just being childish!" I snapped.

Another sigh. "Take a good look, Quatre. Open your eyes and see the truth for what it is. Don't get swallowed up."

"You're talking rubbish, Trowa. Now stop this silly game and come home where you belong," I growl.

"No. I will not return until I know that the Quatre I fell in love with is back again. Only don't take too long to find him will you?"

I stared at the now disconnected call dumbly. No one dared to hang up on me. Angrily I re-dialed the number only to have it ring engaged. With a roar of rage I yanked the phone from its socket and threw it across the room.

_/ But I burn for you  
__What am I going to do?/_

I sit miserably upon my bed as I deal with the thoughts that tear through my head. I sigh as I drag myself to the bathroom. Maybe a shower will help. As the water runs over my body, I am again reminded of how much I long for you. The tender moments we spent together in the shower, gently soaping each other and washing away the grime of the day, soft lingering touches that ended in screams of ecstasy as you repeatedly thrust into my heated body.

_/ I burn for you  
__Burn for you. /_

I turn the taps off viciously, and ignoring the swell between my legs I grab a towel and run it roughly over my tender, heated skin. I can't even take a shower now without being reminded yet again of what I have lost.

With still damp bangs, I crawl between the sheets and try to convince my body to sleep.

_/ I guess it feels like you're always alone  
__And I feel that way too. /_

Another two weeks have passed and along with it my sanity. My work has suffered to the point where I no longer care about it. All I want is you. When I turned to my family for support they ignored me. My various meetings and running of the company was delegated off bit by bit as I found I could no longer cope with the demands of the job. No matter how much time I put into it there was always more expected of me. I began to feel lost. All alone. Nothing more than a puppet, a figurehead, a name.

I stare out the window at the world around me. When was the last time I stopped to smell the roses? When did I last enjoy the simple pleasure of a cup of tea in bed? When did I last savor the laughter of children playing? When was the last time I relaxed at the beach?

When was the last time I was free to be _me_?

A sob escapes my throat as my forehead touches the cool glass. My palm splays out as I stare off blankly, tears rolling down my cheeks as I finally understand.

_/ It's so hard to explain to you  
__Please understand what I do. /_

The excuses, the reasoning behind my attempted explanations to you of my life and my job are clearly seen for what they were. Just excuses.

Each time you would voice your concerns or try to get me to listen to reason, I would refuse, believing instead what my family told me, you were trying to take me away. Blindly I trusted them and so rebutted you, taking out my frustrations on you by working longer hours and denying you what was rightfully yours.

How can you ever forgive me?

_/But I burn for you  
__What am I going to do?/_

My heart aches deep inside. I've hurt the one thing that is more important to me than living.

_/ I burn for you  
__Burn for you./_

Turning around I punch the com unit and tell my secretary to cancel the rest of my day's appointments. Ignoring her protests I march from my office and stride out into the real world. I need to think, to clear my head and sort through this tangled web I have woven.

_/ Took my trouble to a bar tonight  
__For another point of view. /_

I stare at the amber fluid in the glass, swirling it around balefully. The bartender approaches and leans up against the timber, methodically cleaning a glass. I look up at him through bloodshot eyes. I know they are bloodshot, I can see my reflection in the mirror that runs behind the bar, and believe me, it isn't a pretty sight. My tie is loosened, the top two buttons of my shirt undone and the tie sitting askew. The usually crisp, white, starched material is wrinkled and stained. My hair is wild about my head and I know my breath must stink after the alcohol I have consumed.

Actually, I haven't drunk all that much. Three glasses of scotch to be precise, but when you rarely drink it doesn't take long for the effects to seep into your system.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I stare at the bartender.

"You look like you found a penny but lost a pound."

"That obvious, huh?"

"She must be pretty special to have this effect on you, buddy."

My eyes snap open. "Not a she."

"Oh. Look son, whatever it is you've argued about if he's that special I'm sure you can work it out."

I give him a mournful look and then find myself reciting the whole mess into his waiting ears. Whether it's the alcohol coursing through my veins that causes my tongue to loosen, I don't know. All I can say is I felt much better after speaking to a total stranger. Once I had finished telling the whole sorry tale I watched through tear filled eyes as he thought about the information.

_/ But there's nothing new  
__I'm missing you./_

"Want some advice, son?"

I nod.

I'm so desperate now that I will listen to anyone's advice. Even a bartender. I'll do anything if it will mean I can get my Trowa back.

He proceeded to share his wisdom with me. As I listened so the wool that had been pulled over my eyes for so long began to unravel. I thought I had understood a little before, but now I had a much clearer picture. For the first time since you left a spark of light broke through into the darkness of my misery.

_/ But I burn for you  
__What am I going to do? /_

I grabbed at that sliver of light, determined not to let it go.

The more I thought on the wise words of the bartender the brighter the light of hope became until it burnt brilliantly within my soul.

I left the bar and headed home to the mansion.

_/I burn for you  
__Burn for you./_

The fire in my heart was still a spark and I could only hope that yours was the same. I prayed it wasn't too late for me to coax that spark back into the flame that once burned so brightly.

Owari


	8. Confliction

**Thank you for the reviews - I'm happy to know you're all enjoying this arc thus far.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys. They belong to their respective copyright companies. I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a lot happier, ne? :) Also I do not own the song "No One Comes Close" it belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Pairings : 3x4

Rating: R.

Warnings: Angst, POV, Lime hints, Song Fic

Notes: Trowa has figured out his feelings for Quatre and the couple have settled into a life together but Trowa becomes restless as Quatre's business seems to take up more and more of his time leaving Trowa out in the cold.

Authors Notes: This is the eighth in the War Torn Arc. The arc now moves onto the relationship between Trowa and Quatre. This one is from Trowa's POV.

Summary: Trowa has agreed to meet with Quatre and discuss their relationship

Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

_/ Denotes song lyrics /_

" Confliction"

Aug 2003 ShenLong

Part 8 in the War Torn Arc.

Trowa POV

Reluctantly I walk into in the large conference room. I pause for a moment to gaze around me at the milling crowd and subconsciously tug at my jacket, feeling completely at sea amongst the throng of business people. The roar of chatter begins to decrease to a low rumble as the group locate their allocated seats and proceed to sit, reporters and the like at the front, heads of companies in the middle and want-to-be's bringing up the rear.

Where do the jaded and rejected sit?

_/You gave me your cool hand, luke warm reception  
__It's been such a long time, still there on the platform /_

I lean casually against the pillar at the rear and watch as you take your familiar place on the podium, shuffling your papers with practiced ease, the well rehearsed speech rolling off your tongue, caressing the crowd in just the right way.

It may have been a while since I watched this, but your style and flair hasn't changed.

Mingling with the crowds after the speeches, I lock eyes with you across the room. Moments later we stand side by side.

"Trowa."

I take the slender hand that is offered to me and shake it, noting the firm grip but cold touch. "Quatre," I return in my usual quiet tone.

/_What can an old flame do,  
__But talk about just what's new  
__Things that have happened since you went away /_

You release my hand and gaze at me for a moment, eyes unreadable. "How are you?"

The question is stiff and forced, I can tell from your body language that you are uncomfortable, the shifting colors of your eyes alert me that there is more you wish to say, but won't, and the stilted tone of your voice confirms you have yet to fully comprehend what it is you want.

"I'm fine. You?"

"Okay." You look away for a moment before returning your gaze. "What have you been doing?"

I shift a little and take a glass of orange juice from the tray offered by a passing waiter. "Not much. I'm back with the circus doing the knife act with Cathy. Occasionally I share the lion act. And you?"

You tug uncomfortably at the tie that hides under your collar before choosing your words carefully. "I still have the running of the business." Your eyes refuse to meet mine as you speak and instinctively I know that all is not well.

"I can see that the business is going from strength to strength." I wave an arm around the room indicating all the various people that have attended this little speech.

You sigh softly and gaze around. I detect the air of sadness that surrounds you but I refuse to allow my resolve to weaken, as much as it pains me to see you like this I cannot allow myself to buckle. You have to figure this out for yourself.

_/No one, no one comes close  
__Someone maybe will come my way, until that day  
__No one comes close to you /_

"Have you..."

Your voice is barely a whisper, and at first I'm not sure that you spoke, then when the words are repeated I know I didn't mistake them.

I shake my head and note the small spark of hope that flickers briefly in aqua. "No, Quatre. I haven't." I drop my eyes and hide behind my bang unwilling to let you see the pain of my broken heart.

_/I see you in all those up market movies  
__You talk on the talk shows, I stare at the TV /_

I glimpse a brief smile tug at the corners of your mouth and I have to ask the same question myself. "Have you?"

You shake your head and try to pin my gaze but I won't allow it. Once I am held by that look I know I will crumble. I steel myself and place the walls around my aching heart, schooling my features to neutrality.

"I saw you on the television last week." I wait for your reaction.

You shift your weight and lick your lips. "I hate those interviews."

"You never used to."

"Before, I had something to make them bearable... Now I ..."

I catch my breath waiting for you to say it.

But you don't.

_/What can an old friend say  
__I know you don't feel this way  
__I'm taking this chance today, to let you know /_

Your eyes seek mine out again and this time I allow the meeting. Leaning forward I lower my voice so that only you can hear. "How are you really, Quatre?"

A small sob catches in your throat and I bear witness to the struggle within you as the sides collide. I sigh as I realize that you still cannot take that final step.

"I'm sorry," you breathe. "I want... I want..."

I raise my finger to your lips and silence you. Tear filled aqua searches my face and I soften my expression.

_/Of all the lovers I've ever known, you stand alone  
__No one comes close to you/_

"Quatre..."

You stare at me, wide eyed and innocent, but I know different.

"Have you figured it out yet?"

"I... I'm not sure."

"Quatre, I love you. I have always loved you, but I will not come back to you until you can look inside your own heart and truly see what it is you want from yourself. For until you can know that then you will never know what it is you want from me."

I reach closer and lightly brush my lips against yours.

_/Oh I'm going back to my friend  
__One on whom I can depend/_

Before you can speak again I pull away and set my glass down in the conveniently placed plant pot. "Search your heart, Quatre. Learn to love yourself and be at peace. When you can do that then talk to me, I'll be waiting." I turn to leave but you catch my sleeve.

"Trowa."

I pause and turn my head.

"I need you, Trowa."

I shake my head. "No, you don't, Quatre. You have everything you need, I'm just a convenience." I cannot help the bitterness that seeps into my tone.

"How can you say that?" Your eyes flash angrily at me.

I spin around, mouth pressed into a firm line. "Take a long look at yourself, Quatre. Listen to your heart and not the other voices, search and locate. When you have the answer to that then you will know where to find me." I shake myself free of your grasp and leave, my long legs eating up the distance between myself and the door. I don't look back, I refuse to falter, steadfastly keeping my eyes locked on the opening ahead...

I hear the mournful cry that follows me to the cool air of the colony. My heart shatters and my tears escape as I exit.

"Trowaaaaa..."

/_/I just smile at her and pretend, I'm free of you  
__I'm free of you, God knows you're free of me/_

Cathy looks up from her position at the stove top, pausing in her stirring of the pot. An eyebrow raises itself in silent question.

I summon a fake smile to my face, and if she notices, she doesn't comment.

"You okay, Trowa?"

I shrug out of my jacket and turn to face her, hiding behind my bang once more. "I'm fine, Cathy."

She frowns.

I raise my chin and meet her eyes, hiding my emotions as best I can. "I'm free, Cathy."

She knows I'm lying.

oOo


	9. Regret

**Thank you for the kind reviews!**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys. They belong to their respective copyright companies. I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a lot happier, ne? :) Also I do not own the song "A Simple Life" it belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Pairings : 3x4

Rating: R.

Warnings: Angst, POV, Lime hints, Song Fic

Notes: Trowa has figured out his feelings for Quatre and the couple have settled into a life together but Trowa becomes restless as Quatre's business seems to take up more and more of his time leaving Trowa out in the cold.

Authors Notes: This is the ninth in the War Torn Arc. The arc now moves onto the relationship between Trowa and Quatre. This one is from Quatre's POV.

Summary: Quatre does some serious thinking and finally understands what he really wants. He heads back to L3 in hope that Trowa will still be willing to give him a second chance.

Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

_/ Denotes song lyrics /_

" Regret"

Aug 2003 ShenLong

Part 9 in the War Torn Arc.

Quatre POV

I stare, unseeing out of the shuttle window as I speed through the darkness of space, back to L4. My mind is turning over, most of the past few days events blurring into a mass of meetings and speeches, none of which I could clearly recall.

None except for one.

"Trowa."

I whisper your name as my fingertips caress the re-enforced shield that protects me from the black void beyond. But what is there to protect me from myself?

_/ Show me the magic  
__I must've lost it somewhere  
__In my dreams, so far away /_

I sigh as I lean back in my seat and close my weary eyes, the throbbing in my temple refuses to go away as I drift off into a restless slumber. Scenes play behind closed eyelids, laughter, sunny smiles and freedom. Days gone by where we shared so much come back to haunt me, remind me of what I no longer have.

I whimper.

The dreams change again and I can see you walking away, sad look upon your sweet face as I refuse again to join you in some activity, preferring instead to remain at my desk. Like the aged classic 'A Christmas Carol' so I see my own life mirrored in my dream.

_/I turned around, everything's changing but me  
__Where is the soul in my song? /_

Disgusted, I throw the violin to the bed, tears welling in my eyes as I fight the frustration. The music that once flowed from my fingers like a stream has become a trickle, dammed by the emptiness inside. Without you here my song has no meaning, no heart. I sink to my knees, unheeding of the rough carpet against my bare skin and sob my pain to the furniture. I stare at the ceiling as the wetness graces my cheeks, the ache in my heart unbearable. As my tears slow so I am able to think once more, and what I find in my head does not please me. I cast my memory back to happier days and begin to see clearly what I had...

... and what I lost.

I thought I was moving with the times, growing and developing along with everyone and everything else, but now, upon reflection I can see I was wrong. The relationship we shared was new and tentative, each day dawned just for us to explore and share and as each stage evolved, so the need to move to the next level was heightened. You took those steps, you moved with the changes.

But I didn't.

/_Once there was heaven in my eyes  
__Whatever happened to those skies? /_

Sadly I recount the way my life has developed. Our relationship was blooming, so why did I not grow with it? I search my mind for the answers and find only one.

Selfishness.

I didn't need to grow, I was there already.

I allowed myself to become immersed in the business, thinking I could make a difference, develop the company, play the part of the astute business man, but while in one way I succeeded, I also lost. Before I knew it the company had taken over, it ruled my every waking moment, dictated my day to day existence, took away the heaven from my life.

_/ Somebody show me how to  
__Get back to the simple life /_

Frustrated, I pound my fist against the floor. "Why?" I scream to the heavens above. "Why me? All I ever wanted was to be happy! To enjoy life and peace to the fullest without the complications!"

My sobs return unanswered.

_/Out of the blue, temptation's all around me  
__The train came along and I got on board /_

Believing I had no choice but to take my place as the heir, I blindly allowed myself to be manipulated. I heeded only my family and advisors.

I should have listened to my heart.

_/ I danced with the darkness  
__The skies were the limit  
__It's such a long way to fall /_

I jumped in head first, throwing myself into the daily running of the business, pushing myself to the limits with my new found _power_. There wasn't anything that I couldn't achieve.

You tried to keep up with me, I see that now. You tried to warn me, but I was deaf to your pleas. The softly spoken words you used were completely ignored and then written off as jealousy.

I grind my palms into my eyes, the saltiness of my tears reaches my mouth and serves only to remind me of the bitterness of loss. The fall was long and hard...

You weren't there to catch me.

_/ Once there was heaven in my eyes  
__Whatever happened to those skies? /_

I stand upon the balcony and gaze into the night sky, searching for something, knowing in my heart what is right, but convincing my mind is another matter.

_/ Somebody show me how to  
__Get back to the simple life /_

I turn and wander back inside, past the large bed, not sparing it a glance as the pain of loss is still too great; onwards until I am standing in the large, plush bathroom. I face the mirror and take in the reflection.

The features that stare back at me are mocking, taunting, sneering at a being that is too weak to admit his failings, too weak to answer the question, too weak to face the truth.

It hurts.

"Trowa..."

_/ 'Cause I've done my time in paradise  
__I've tried it all maybe once or twice /_

Gazing mutely into those teal pools I search for the answer I already have. My mind runs in circles as it figures out finally just what it is I want from my life, the curtain is lifted and the path becomes clear.

With slow understanding I listen to my heart and accept what I know to be the truth.

The business, no matter how candy coated it appears to be, regardless of the pressures placed upon the CEO, will continue to prosper and blossom, whether I am there to see it or not. It isn't worth throwing my chance at happiness away over.

_/ Somebody show me how to  
__Get back to the simple life /_

With my vision now clear I can see what it was you were trying so desperately to show me, what I didn't want to see, fearing the truth.

I was being used.

I realize that now.

A plan forms in my head, one I know I can implement, one that will ensure that I not only continue to chair the company but will allow me the life I wish to have.

The pain in my heart shifts as another sensation pushes forth. I welcome it.

Peace.

_/Stars keep me going  
__And the moon is there to light my way  
__I need to go where my heart is free /_

The controls feel familiar in my hands as I pilot the shuttle craft. While it will never be my beloved Sandrock, it is adequate enough for my current purpose. I set the auto pilot and watch the stars from the window, the soft pale glow of the moon is visible and bathes the way for my tiny craft to follow.

The speed exhilarates me and for the first time since I can remember I feel... free.

_/Looking for the way back  
__Hoping for the way back /_

Having docked the shuttle I proceed to the main gates of the shuttle port, determined more than ever to see this through.

As I make my way through the streets of L3, I cannot help but recall the earlier conversation. The hope that things could be salvaged, a second chance given, were heightened with the woman's information, but there was an undercurrent. I had been warned. Hurt him again and face the wrath.

Being dismembered by an irate female was not on my list of priorities.

_/ Somebody show me how to  
__Get back to ... the simple life /_

I pause at the huge archway and swallow hard. I refuse to back out now.

All I have ever wanted, my hopes, my dreams, my entire life is on the other side of that archway, and I will be dammed if I will let it slip away a second time.

I find you where I knew you would be.

"Trowa."

_/ 'Cause I've done my time in paradise  
__I've tried it all maybe once or twice /_

Your soft emerald gaze rests briefly upon my form and I can't help but notice the look of pain that passes through them. It tears at my heart and I welcome the agony, knowing it is a small price to pay for the hurt I have inflicted upon your soul.

"Forgive me, Trowa."

You straighten, but do not speak.

"I was wrong. I can see that now. Please... Can we try again?"

I see the flash of distrust followed by a glimpse of hope and allow myself the moment to dream that it will all be okay.

"Let's talk."

I give a small smile and follow you to the trailer.

_/ Somehow the grass was always greener  
__On the other side /_

Several hours later my voice is hoarse, but my spirit is light. I have made my confession, admitted to my mistakes and begged your forgiveness.

I have explained myself and my actions to the best of my knowledge, wincing at the hard truths of my behavior, the full understanding of the hurt my selfishness caused you coming home to me with startling clarity.

It took the pain of loss and a bartender to make me open my eyes and take a good long look at myself. What I found disgusted me and I vowed to change.

I can understand your hesitance and I promise you anything and everything if you will only give me a second chance.

"I love you, Trowa. I can't live without you."

_/ Once there was heaven in my eyes  
__Whatever happened to those skies? /_

You stare at me, silent for the longest moment. I bare my soul to you in my eyes. Can you see how miserable I am? Can you see how torn I feel?

Without you I cannot exist.

When you walked away you took my very being with you and while it has taken me this long to see it for myself, I can only hope you will come back to me, let me love you the way you should be loved.

_/ Somebody show me how to  
__Get back to the simple life /_

I hold my breath as you reach out a hand and place it upon my cheek. I lean into the touch, tears fall like diamonds but shatter like glass as they connect with the floor.

Slowly your face nears mine, I cannot read your eyes as you keep them neutral. My heart pounds in my chest until I feel it will surely leave my body. Your lips gravitate to mine and I part in silent invitation. The RSVP is given with a tender brush before locking to mine and questing forth.

I welcome your tongue as a thirsty man would welcome water, the familiar, yet new sensations sending my stomach plummeting and my heart flying. You slowly pull back and now I can see the forgiveness I crave deep in those emerald jewels.

"Thank you." My voice is hushed. "Thank you for showing me the way."

You smile.

The peace is overwhelming.

oOo


	10. Paradise

**Thank you to all who are reading and a special thanks to those who have left a review. One more to go after this and the arc is complete.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys. They belong to their respective copyright companies. I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a lot happier, ne? :) Also I do not own the song "A Touch Of Paradise" it belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Pairings : 3x4x3

Rating: R.

Warnings: Sap, POV, Lime hints, Song Fic

Notes: Trowa has figured out his feelings for Quatre and the couple have settled into a life together but Trowa becomes restless as Quatre's business seems to take up more and more of his time leaving Trowa out in the cold.

Authors Notes: This is the tenth in the War Torn Arc. The arc now moves onto the relationship between Trowa and Quatre. This one is from bioth Trowa and Quatre's POV's.

Summary: Trowa has given Quatre the second chance he so desperately wanted and Quatre is determined to let Trowa know just how important he is to him.

Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

_/ Denotes song lyrics /_

" Paradise "

Sept 2003 ShenLong

Part 10 in the War Torn Arc.

Trowa POV

I gaze out across the expanse of the oasis to the heated sands beyond, curiously I wonder how such a lush, green haven could sprout and sustain life when surrounded by the unforgiving terrain that abounds.

Movement behind me draws my attention back, but I do not move from my position. You join me standing between the french doors that open out onto the patio, the gentle breeze stirring the sheer curtains so they flutter around our forms.

_/ Flamingos walk, and sway in peace  
__Seeing this, it makes my troubles cease /_

I sense the nearness of your body as I continue to stare at the wonderland ahead. The edge of the water is graced with the many forms of flamingos, moving serenely about their business and the peacefulness is not lost.

Quite the opposite in fact.

My arms reach out and encompass your slender body, drawing you closer to me and I rest my chin upon the soft blonde locks that crown your head. I let a quiet sigh escape my lips as I allow the peace to steal through me and wash away any fears or uncertainties I may still have.

In the short time we have been reunited, never once have you gone back to the way you were. I'm proud of you for being able to figure it out, proud of the way you have managed to convince those around you that you are capable of overseeing the large corporation and still hold onto the love we share.

Proud to be your partner.

_/ The sun is hiding, leaving a pink scar  
__That stretches right across the sky  
__That's all we've seen so far /_

The moon begins to come out and looks smilingly down upon us, the sun retreats beyond the horizon and the sky gradually becomes a blanket of stars that shine only for us.

I turn you around in my arms and draw you even closer, my lips seeking yours and finding their goal. The brilliant colors that bathe the evening sky cannot match the vivid mists of green and blue that swirl in your eyes and once more I am lost to my heart's needs and desires.

I am so grateful you discovered yourself and then came for me.

Without you I don't think I could have lived.

Hungrily, I kiss you again.

_/ And all I do is look into your eyes  
__For that special touch of paradise /_

Gazing again into those teal depths I find myself drowning.

And I don't care.

_/ Just a touch, a touch of paradise  
__Just a special touch of paradise /_

You are my paradise, my garden of Eden and I intend to fully enjoy the fruits that are on offer.

Quatre POV

I cannot put into words how happy I am. You gave me the second chance I asked for and I won't let you down. Each day I make sure to tell you how much I love you, each day I spend precious moments with you before the demands of the company take over, but now I stick to a regular schedule. I do not deviate, for your happiness is more important to me than anything else.

I just wish I had realized it sooner.

_/ You hold my hand, that's when we kiss  
__And it doesn't take long no, until I get the gist /_

Walking amongst the palms that adorn the oasis I cannot believe my good fortune. This time I never intend to let it go.

Gently, you take my hand and we walk in comfortable silence, appreciating the surroundings, marveling at the beauty. When you stop and pull me close I don't resist. Your lips descend upon mine and I eagerly return the kiss, mouth parting to permit the intrusion of your tongue, my own sneaking forth to return the caresses to your mouth.

With tender spots being exploited I am left with no doubt as to what it is you want, submissively I offer myself to you.

Yours...

You take me there on the edge of the oasis, the fronds above providing the canopy, the sweet grasses beneath, the mattress, as I succumb to your touches and worship of my body. Your fingers bring me alive, your presence inside my body causing sensation to burn through every pore until I swear I am ready to combust, the fire you invoke threatening to engulf me, and I welcome the inferno.

_/ Of this love that stretches out across the land  
__Where rainbows flash, as we're walking in the sand /_

You drive me higher and higher until I can no longer withstand the pleasure and resort to begging.

The rainbows dance as I give you all I have, surrendering body and soul to the one that means more to me than life itself.

I sob with the intensity of your love as you show me once more how much you care for me.

_/ And all I do is look into your eyes  
__For that special touch of paradise /_

Gazing deep into the sea of green all I can find is love and I'm warmed. My heart soars with the pleasure your body bestows upon mine, but I don't need to feel you inside to know you are mine.

Your eyes tell me that each time I look into them.

_/ Just a touch, a touch of paradise  
__Just a special touch of paradise /_

You are the other half of my soul and without you to guide me, hold me and love me then there is no meaning to my life. While the business will continue on regardless of who is in charge, my very existence will crumble without you by my side.

The peace I fought so hard for... that we all fought hard for, means nothing if I cannot find it in my heart.

You pointed me in the right direction and finally I discovered the meaning of peace, and now with your presence and gentle touch I am free to enjoy it fully.

Trowa POV

My hand caresses your face as I watch the emotions flit across. What are you thinking, my love?

_/ A touch of spring, and autumn sweet  
__Well the trees vibrate when our eyes meet /_

You open your eyes to meet mine and grace me with a sunny smile. I can feel the electricity crackle through the air as our vision locks and unspoken messages are passed. The very air seems to vibrate with the intensity of our love, and I don't mean the physical.

I know you sense it too.

/_ And I think of all the love that we have been making  
__You touch my hand and I walk off shaking /_

I roll to one side, gently slipping from within your warmth and prop myself upon an elbow so I can watch your handsome features.

You reach for me and pull me close, sharing a sweet kiss before reclining back upon your earthen mattress. I continue to watch you carefully. The intensity of the love I can see radiating from your form sends shivers through me.

I feel as if my heart will break free from my chest with the love and devotion you are showing me and I try my hardest to return it tenfold.

The continuous drift of emotions that you invoke to course through my body leave me shaking from the intensity.

_/ And all I do is look into your eyes  
__For that special touch of paradise /_

"Trowa...?"

I watch your lips move as they speak my name.

"Yes?" I allow my fingertips to run across your forehead, sweeping those golden locks aside and reveal all your beauty to my hungry eyes.

"I love you, Trowa, with all my heart and soul and I never want to be apart from you ever again."

I continue in my touches, knowing you will resume when ready.

Your eyes lower momentarily and then raise again to meet mine, the fire that is burning deep inside them stuns me for a moment, but I quickly recover my composure.

"Trowa... I... I am hoping you will stay with me forever, be beside me through whatever life has in store for me..."

"You know I will," I murmur as I begin to feather kisses to your creamy neck.

"Trowa... What I'm trying to say..." A swallow. "Will you be my husband?"

_/ Just a touch, a touch of paradise  
__Just a special touch of paradise /_

I feel my heart skip a beat and my breath catches as the words sink in. Your eyes search my own looking for a sign, anything that will tell you what I am thinking, but I give nothing away.

The words tear through my conscious as I process them and understand the full impact of what you are asking. Lowering my face I take your lips in a gentle kiss, moving my mouth softly over yours, conveying all I feel in that simple touch.

"Yes, Quatre. I will be honored to become your husband."

As you wrap your arms around my neck so your tears fall freely, sliding over cheeks and dropping to the sandy earth below. Lips are joined again and I know that at last we have found our paradise.

Owari


	11. Together Forever

**Many thanks to all who have read and reviewed this arc. I hope you had as much enjoyment reading it as I did writing it. Hugs and Gundam Pilots to you all. - Shen**

**Here is the final part.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the G Boys. They belong to their respective copyright companies. I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a lot happier, ne? :) Also I do not own the song "Even After All This Time" it belongs to John Farnham and as such all rights are his.

Pairings : 1x2x1, 3x4x3

Rating: R.

Warnings: Sap, POV, Lime hints, Song Fic

Authors Notes: This is the eleventh and final fic in the War Torn Arc and is set with all four ex pilot's POV's

Summary: The time has come for the ex pilots to make their final commitment to each other.

Archive: www.gundam-wing-diaries.

Anyone else just ask. :)

_/ Denotes song lyrics /_

" Together Forever "

Sept 2003 ShenLong

Heero POV

I tug against the collar of my shirt and fiddle with the tie, longing for the comfort and security of my usual garb. Maybe not so much the spandex shorts; I traded them in a long time ago in favor of jeans, but anything would be much more comfortable than this penguin suit. Sensing my discomfort, your arm wraps around my waist and soft words are spoken in my ear.

"I promise it will all be over soon."

I nod in affirmation then tilt my head, offering my lips and you take me up on the invitation, kissing away my nervousness and replacing it with serenity. For you I would do anything.

"We can always disappear and do this some other time... quietly," you whisper.

"Iie." I shake my head. "This is important to you. You deserve it. I... I want it this way." You reward me with a beaming smile, then kiss me once more.

Our moment of tranquility is broken as we are informed it is time. With one last, lingering kiss and smile you depart with Trowa. But I'm not sad. On the contrary, my heart is as light as a feather, filled to the brim and overflowing with love; for I know I will be seeing you again in just a short while.

_/ Sometimes when people meet  
__Before too long they feel they were always meant to be. /_

As I stand with Quatre, I resist the urge to tug yet again at the restricting collar. He gives me a sympathetic look, sharing the same uncomfortable feeling. I nod in return.

My gaze flickers to follow where Quatre's has disappeared to and my breath catches. Hypnotized, I can only stare as you slowly approach me.

How can I describe the feeling that resides in my chest every time I am with you? From the first time I met you it was like I had found the other half of my soul. I know I took my time to recognize the fact, preferring to dance around the edges, ignoring the emotions evoked in my heart; but the more I tried to dodge the truth the stronger it grew, until I was unable to evade it any longer. Forced to face the facts, I now know you cannot hide from what is meant to be; you cannot elude your destiny.

I don't want to.

_/ Sometimes I look around  
__Wondering where I might be now  
__If I'd never met you. /_

Had I not listened to Relena all those months ago and gone on ignoring the signs, where would I be now?

To be honest; I haven't a clue.

The one thing that I do know though, is that I wouldn't be happy. The day I met you sealed my fate, and I couldn't be more content.

_/ I might have never found out what it means  
__To make a simple dream come true  
__Without you. /_

So, here I stand, dressed in white as you approach. Your unbound hair flows around your graceful body and I'm positive that all the angels are jealous of your beauty. How can I ever repay you for all the love, comfort, and understanding that you have gifted me with? Heaven must certainly be mourning the loss of one of its most precious inhabitants and I feel like I am the luckiest man alive, as I truly believe that I have found _that_ angel.

You have made my life worth living, shown me how to grow, how to listen to my inner feelings, and for that I will always be grateful. All I can offer in return is my body, my mind, my heart, my soul... my love.

I got lucky.

You accepted.

Duo POV

The tears prickle behind my eyes as I walk steadily down the aisle and I note the people sitting in the pews. I am aware of Trowa moving beside me, and Quatre up ahead, but I have eyes only for you. I feel so humbled and unworthy, the gift you are bestowing me in trusting me with your heart is one I feel honored to have. I will treasure it and be gentle, loving you for as long as you will let me.

_/You've given me all that I could ever hope to find  
__And when I think of what we have  
__I just cannot help but smile /_

I feel the familiar tug at the corners of my mouth as I watch you. My heart leaps and thumps furiously with the love I have until it feels like it will surely burst from the cavity in which it resides.

I don't need fancy clothes, a big house, or a large bank account; all I could ever want and need stands here before me wrapped up in golden skin, blue eyes, and a mop of chocolate hair.

Perfection.

And it's all mine.

_/'Cause I know that I could never find  
__A better friend in life /_

Being thrown together the way we were, a mutual chord was struck. The friendship took time to grow but the seeds were planted the first time we met. The passing of time, the shared success of missions, the communal tears of failures nurtured the tiny seedling. I lost count of the times we patched each other up, the branches of friendship strengthening with each bind of the bandage, until the peace...

The final blessed peace... and the bud opened.

Like an everlasting flower, we turn our petals to the sun and drink in the rays, basking in the warmth and glow of love.

_/And I still feel the same way  
__Even after all this time /_

Throughout the years I shared things with my best friend.

Today, I share the rest of my life with my soul mate.

Reaching your side I put all the love I am feeling into my eyes, overwhelmed when I see it mirrored in your own. With a warm smile, I take your hand and listen to the words of the priest.

Quatre POV

I smile inwardly as Heero shifts uncomfortably in his suit. I long to join him but my attention is suddenly diverted and my eyes no longer under my control. Instead, they are captured, held prisoner by the vision that approaches. Once more I am reminded of the precious gift I so nearly threw away.

_/ Some might want yesterdays  
__Forever lost to the world  
__If only /_

How blessed am I that you took me back? Gave me the chance to redeem myself. How could I have been so blind?

I don't want to live in the past with only my memories of what I had; for memories, while they can be good, are a small comfort for what could have been the here and now.

The past is the past. No matter how hard we try, like dark colors in the sun, memories eventually fade with each passing day. I want the todays and tomorrows, to savor each moment and live for the future.

No more will I say 'If only'...

Now I say 'when'.

_/But you don't have to be hiding from the passing years  
__You don't need to worry  
__You become more beautiful each day /_

My heart hammers in my chest as you draw nearer, and I am again in awe of your beauty and grace. I feel humbled that out of the many you could have had, you chose me. Even when I hurt you, drove you away with my foolish ways, you still persisted.

Time has done nothing to change you, if anything; it has made you more handsome. I note the ease and the confidence with which you carry yourself. The ticking of the clock serves only to enhance your beauty; and once more, I am painfully aware of the treasure I have.

I intend never to let it go.

_/Time could never take away  
__This gift of grace /_

As you near me, my eyes well with unshed tears, my empathy drowns in the love and devotion that radiates, and I desperately try to choke back the emotion that is determined to break free.

No matter how many years may pass, I promise you I will always cherish this special gift.

You stand next to me now, eyes bright and full of love. How can someone as wonderful as you want someone like me? I throw the question from my mind, tired of hearing it and opt to move forward, enjoy what I have without questioning the reason why any longer. You take my hand in yours; eyes locking with mine, and smiling, you turn us to face the priest. In that one fleeting look, I have my answers.

Peace... Love...

Till eternity.

Trowa POV

With a deep breath, I match my pace with Duo's, aware, like he is, of the surrounding crowd, but my eyes search only for one. I meet your steady teal and focus upon it... drinking in the vision of you.

Step by step I close the distance, drawn irrevocably towards my past, present and future.

/_You've given me all that I could ever hope to find  
__And when I think of what we have  
__I just cannot help but smile /_

I hold my head up high, proud to be taking these steps, proud to be walking towards you. For years I tried to find what it was I wanted, searched blindly and slowly pieced together the emotions I was experiencing. When I found it, I thought it was heaven.

But alas, my life was never meant to be that easy and heaven soon turned to hell.

I admit I took a gamble, never one to normally temp fate, especially given our pasts and the things we had done, but all I could do was lay my cards on the table and hope my hand was good enough. I had to try.

I was lucky.

The odds were in my favor.

I smile at you from underneath the sanctuary of my bang, bathing in the gift you return, your face beaming.

I won big time.

_/'Cause I know that I could never find  
__A better friend in life /_

I'm so glad you saw the light, so happy you made your decision, so proud you found your peace.

With your inner conflict resolved and your soul finding its peace, a bright future has opened up; a future that includes me. My heart still aches, but it is an ache I willingly endure and nurture, for it is the ache of love, of need, of desire.

For my best friend...

For my lover.

_/And I still feel the same way  
__Even after all this time /_

Just like we shared in the past, the trials of the future will test us, tempt us, and drive us. But nevertheless, a friendship built so long ago that now has the strength of love to cement it will defeat anything.

The times may have been hard, the road winding and the surface strewn with rocks, but we made it. Despite the challenges and the hurdles, my love only deepened and remains that way.

My eyes fill with every bit of love I have for you before facing the priest, holding tightly to your hand, awaiting the words that will only confirm what we have, what we share, and what we will continue to enjoy.

Even after all this time...

The vows were exchanged, the rings given and taken. The priest smiled warmly at the two couples before him as they sealed their commitment with a loving kiss. Knowing who they were, what they had endured and what they had accomplished, it was nothing short of a miracle that they were even here today.

The love and happiness they shared was an inspiration to all and the priest felt honored to be witness to such loyalty and devotion.

Together... forever...

Owari

Thank you to all those faithful readers out there who have taken the time to review or e mail me and pass on their thoughts in regards to this arc. It has been my pleasure to write it and I hope you enjoyed the final part.

Arigato!

Shen.


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